Divorce comes with countless struggles, disappointments, and losses. Thankfully, there are also some perks to being newly single. During this time of Thanksgiving, let’s make a list of everything we are grateful for now that the dysfunctional marriage has ended. I’ll get us started:
1) Be Thankful for all the Things you no Longer Have to do for Another Grown Adult.
Think of all those big and little things you used to do for your spouse. Those annoying little things, those bigger time-consuming things, and all those things that were just never noticed, appreciated, or reciprocated. No more of that! Married life came with a ton of responsibilities and chores. One less person in the house usually equates to less work around the house– less laundry, less cleaning, less food shopping, less cooking, less garbage, less stuff in general. And on a deeper level, take a real honest look at your marriage. What else do you have less of? Less arguments? Lies? Manipulation? Criticism? Insults? Reprimands? Gaslighting? Conflict? Disrespect? Anxiety? Say yes to less!
2) Be Thankful for all the Things you Now get to do That you Couldn’t do Before.
Think of all the things you weren’t “allowed” to do in your marriage or all the things that you wanted to do, but were given a hassle about. Now, you get to do you– guilt free! No more running your decisions by someone else. No more asking permission. No more answering a thousand questions. No more explaining. No more justifying. No more defending your choices, decisions, and actions. No more holding back. No more walking on eggshells. No more repressing your own needs. To an extent, you now have the ability to do what you want, when you want, how you want. FREEDOM!
3) Be Thankful for the Opportunity to Deepen Other Relationships.
When the focus is finally taken away from your spouse, there is now room to explore and deepen other important relationships. When was the last time you spoke to one of your cousins? How often do you get to visit with your parents? How well do you know your neighbors? Do you ever get to socialize with your co-workers? Have you lost touch with your bestie from high school? Wouldn’t it be fun to re-connect? Find your people! Creating and deepening meaningful relationships leads to a rich, fulfilling life.
4) Be Thankful for all the Available Help and Resources.
Years ago, people often suffered alone in silence and shame when their marriage ended. Now, we have access to tons of helpful resources right at our fingertips. Nobody has to go through a divorce alone. There are countless relationship/divorce experts sharing their knowledge on social media, websites, apps and podcasts. There are so many great books and courses designed to help you through this difficult time. There are also therapists, coaches and support groups that specialize in divorce-related issues. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but with the right resources and mindset, you WILL get through this. You will recover from your divorce. You will heal. The first step is the willingness to embrace the help and support all around you.
5) Be Thankful for the Opportunity to Start Over.
Your life is not over. It will look, feel and be very different, but it is far from over. Be thankful for new beginnings. Be thankful for this chance to start over. Yes, this notion is scary, but it is also exciting. What’s next for you? What new possibilities, discoveries and opportunities await? You get to experience everything anew as a single person. It’s time for self-reflection, experimentation and exploration as you redefine your identity. This is your chance to experience that feeling of butterflies and “firsts” all over again. Perhaps, this will be your first time living alone, or your first time in a new house. Perhaps you’ll have your first glimpse at independence. Perhaps, you’ll embark on your first solo trip. Perhaps you will have a first date or first romance. Perhaps you’ll simply be able to put yourself first for the first time in a long time. Now that’s certainly something to be thankful for!