Does it sometimes feel like your divorce is taking over every aspect of your life? Consuming every second of your day?
You need a break! While we can’t totally escape from our divorce, we can prevent it from taking over our lives 24/7.
Scheduling time to focus on your divorce will actually free you from obsessing about it all day long. Set aside 20 minutes during the day to focus just on your divorce. During that time, write down all your questions, fears, concerns– things you are worried/angry/sad about; things you want to talk to your lawyer about; things you need to say to your X. Get your thoughts out and organized; create an action plan; schedule and/or make necessary calls and appointments; then END the divorce session and move on with your day.
Here are five other suggestions for taking a timeout from your divorce:
1)Establish divorce- free zones in your house.
Whether it’s your bedroom or your den, set aside a sanctuary room or cozy nook in your house where divorce is forbidden to enter. That means once you enter that safe haven, you can’t do, say, read, google, write or think about anything related to divorce. Settle into that space and exhale.
2) Move!
When divorce thoughts start creeping in, don’t just sit there- move! When our bodies are in motion, our energy instantly changes. Talk a brisk walk. Exercise. Clean the house. Dance in your living room. Just move and let those positive endorphins flow.
3) Surround yourself with friends and family.
Spend time with friends and family, but don’t let it become a venting session. Tell them ahead of time, “I need to see you, but let’s not talk about my divorce at all today.”
4)Engage your mind.
Devote some time to a task or hobby that requires your full attention. Learn or play an instrument. Take up a foreign language. Choose a topic you know absolutely nothing about and read up on it. Explore a genre of literature that you’ve never read before—sci fi perhaps? Do a puzzle. Complete a crossword. Make a craft. Cook a new recipe. Master one of your kid’s Xbox games. Research a place/city/country of interest and plan a visit.
5) Have faith.
Have faith in God, in the universe, in whatever you believe in– that everything will work out in time. Believe in the rainbow after the storm. Make a deliberate choice to seek solace. Pray. Meditate. Journal. Slow down. Breathe. Exhale.