As a single woman or soon-to-be single woman, it’s time to step up and take charge! Be strong, be brave and be in control of your own life. Here are five ways to boldly blossom.
1) Set Boundaries.
Going through a divorce is overwhelming. When your life is turned upside down and you’re being pulled in so many directions, it really helps to set boundaries. Now more than ever, you need time for YOU. It’s ok to say no to whatever or whomever is draining your energy. Make a list of all the unnecessary or negative things/chores/people/obligations/responsibilities in your life that you can potentially eliminate or reduce or delegate. You don’t have to take on everything all at once. You don’t have to tell everybody everything. You don’t have to feel pressured to do things you are not yet ready to do. Setting healthy boundaries with your ex, your children, your friends, your colleagues and your relatives will give you time and space to breathe. While it is important to have a support system while going through your divorce, just remember, you can set the terms for your relationships and interactions.
2) Speak Up!
If something important is on your mind, say it. If you’re unhappy with someone, tell them. If you have questions, ask! No one is a mind reader—not your ex, not your lawyer, not your friends, not your kids. Speak up for what you want and need. You can make yourself understood, without being rude or hurtful. Learn how to express and assert yourself in ways that make you feel confident, strong and heard. Your voice matters.
3) Remember Your Strengths.
With so many changes and transitions happening during your divorce, it’s easy to get caught up feeling vulnerable and lost. The process can be daunting and draining. Muster up the strength to keep going. Keep going forward, even if you’re just taking baby steps for now. Keep going even when you feel like giving up. Just keep going. Find a driving force. Recall other times in your life when the going got tough. How did you make it through? What skills, tactics, traits did you rely on? What resources were available to you? Did you plan? Did you pray? Did you ask for help? You have proven your strength and courage before. You are resilient. This is your time for a comeback!
4) Mimic Your Mentor.
Think about other women you admire. Do you have a role model or mentor? What about them inspires you? What characteristics and traits do they possess? What would these special women do if they were in your shoes? How can you follow in their footsteps to accomplish your goals? What steps did they take to be successful? To be happy? To feel complete? How have they overcome hardships? Look to those you respect and admire and then follow their path as it applies to your situation.
5) Stop Apologizing.
I’m sorry I’m so sensitive. I’m sorry I don’t understand. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry I’m not myself lately. I’m sorry I feel this way. I’m sorry I look like this. I’m sorry I can’t make it. Who is tired of constantly apologizing? What would happen if we eliminated “I’m sorry” from all the above sentences? We would be left with perfectly acceptable statements! Why do we preface everything with I’m sorry? Keep track of all the times you unnecessarily say you’re sorry. Studies have indicated that women apologize much more frequently than men. While both sexes tend to apologize when they have clearly done something wrong, women continue to apologize even when they have done nothing wrong. So the next time you are about to say I’m sorry, take a moment and see if you really owe an apology. You don’t need to apologize for how you feel or who you are. Unless you have truly done something to be sorry for, forbid yourself from saying I’m sorry. You’ll be amazed how uplifting it feels to live unapologetically true to yourself.